Things I Hate About Facebook

So I've noticed the last few posts of mine have been rather heavy handed and dealing with pretty deep stuff. Upon thinking of my next post, the first things that came to mind were again, heavy and deep stuff.

SO I figure I'll sprinkle in a few funnehs around my more serious posts for variety, after all, random is my middle name.

Actually it's not. But I don't care.

But I digress. This is just a list of things that my fellow Facebookers do that annoys the CHIZ out of me and makes me want to rip my voluminous Asian hair right out of my head. Now I know a lot of you may just do these exact things all the time and if that's the case...well...now we know each other a bit better don't we?

But anyways here it is:

Things Jeremy Hates On FaceBook (or any other social networking website)


1. Badly edited mirror selfies
-I've never understood how changing the color of a picture, saturating the pixels and then scribbling all over it with PaintBrush somehow makes the picture look more appealing.
-this is the opposite of attractive, I look at these and think of little girls on MySpace back when MySpace was cool.

2."Truth Is" statuses
-Truth is...these make you look desperate for attention at any cost whatsoever.
-I'll give you a protip here: Facebook is not a good place for cultivating one's personality and social circles. It's like going into Hooters for female attention, yes you'll get it but no, it's in no way sincere or realistic.

3. "Share/like" posts
-Want something to trend? Exploit a well known disaster, death or tragedy and attempt to curry sympathy by saying that liking or sharing the picture somehow means something.
-Let me make it simple: re-posting or liking doesn't mean you care or are praying.

4. Christian "share/like" posts

-if re-posting a guilt-ridden "If youz deny me before teh menzez ah willz deny youz before teh Fatherz heeeeeerrrrrrpppppp uh ddeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrppppp" post means you're going to heaven and not posting it means you somehow hate Jesus...well...I guess I'm going to hell because I refuse to re-post ANY of these and I will continue to do so to the day I die. 

-It's the Facebook version of leaving tracts on restaurant tables after you eat. It's what I like to call a "Jesus hit-and-run".

5. Re-posting stupid quotes made by hair-brained celebrities

-Whenever I see THIS start going around...

...I immediately think of THESE creatures...

6. People who complain about hashtags on Facebook

-Seriously, if this bugs you, then what happens when something REALLY bad happens to you?

-Of all the things to complain about on Facebook this is pretty pathetic.

-You are accusing people of being "so mainstream" when they use hashtags on facebook...think about that for a minute. Facebook is the most mainstream thing on earth next to oxygen and water.

-You look like a whiny hipster

 

7. Posting vaugue passive/aggressive statuses about people you know

-Pretty simple concept here, if you have a problem with someone, go confront them and solve it instead of complaining about it on Facebook.

-No one else cares that "that slut" is flirting with your boyfriend or that you are your own free spirit and "don't need anyone's affirmation"...because if you didn't, you wouldn't be on FaceBook complaining about it.

 

So yeah...that's about it, I'm sure I'll think of a few later and when I do maybe I'll post a Vol. 2 or something. Until then, sip some green tea and watch some Victorious. I hope you got some lulz from this and if I offended you in any way then fill out this form and I'll get back to you okay?