"What does it mean...to be a woman?"
This question was asked in one of the final episodes of Victorious and it never was answered however I'd like to ask that same question but for us Y-Chromosomers out there.
"What does it mean...to be a man?"
What comes to mind? Probably some lumberjack-like dude with a barrel chest and a huge beard. Or if you're in the younger generations, a sparkly vegan vampire that drives eco-friendly cars *shudders in disgust*.
But seriously, who are we as guys?
I don't think my generation or even the subsequent generations after me can honestly answer that completely. Why? Because we were never forced to be one.
For some reason we just haven't gotten' this "male" thing down on lock.
Now who can really blame us, I mean, the media tells us that we are dumb, horny and childish. Our female counterparts say we are dumb, horny and childish. And our culture tells us...well...that we are dumb, horny and childish.
And for the most part, all three parties agree that this is exactly how we are supposed to be.
We're told that to be a man is to be as irresponsible as possible. We're to "take all we can and give nothing back". We're supposed to live the YOLO lifestyle.
And so as good little boys, we do exactly as we're told
Just look around a bit and look at ourselves men, why are so many of us still obsessed with video games, sports and action movies but care very little for things that truly matter?
Because we still are boys.
We haven't grown up because we're told not to. Think about it, in every TV show and sitcom, where is the humor found? In us as guys acting like idiots. We bumble around looking for food, sex, and beer. And yet who is responsible? Who are the ones making decisions? Who are the ones leading?
The women.
Why is this? Well, a good boy would say that it's because of feminists and their efforts to dominate the culture with their views.
And in this I suppose is some truth.
But to be honest, I think that's making excuses.
We are the problem.
We never decided to truly grow up and step out of our childhood. We just are existing in this perpetual boyhood filled with football, Skyrim and our favorite burger joints.
And in my opinion, we're about as useless as a three-legged dog.
Seriously, guys, we aren't made to be this. We aren't made to live like this.
God didn't create us to live like boys. He created us to live like men.
Unfortunately, thanks to our original ancestor Adam, we have it hard-wired into our system to be wimps. As Adam shrank back and refused to be strong and stand for his wife Eve, so are we shrinking back in our culture and letting our "Eves" do the leading. And so, everything falls apart.
Now before I go on I'm sure there's a few of my female counterparts out there flipping their lid thinking that I'm saying that without the uber-man's leadership, the women will inevitably screw everything up.
I'm not saying that in the slightest.
I'm saying this is a team effort.
We as men are responsible for our own actions just as women are for theirs, however for some reason we seem to be okay with letting women shoulder all the responsibility and burdens of this world while we lose ourselves in sex and television.
Now before I continue, let me be clear on another thing: I am NOT in any way condemning my fellow males here, I'm part of the problem. I am the problem. I see it in my lifestyle, I see it in my habits, and I see it in my soul. That's why I'm blogging about it, because I'm not okay with it.
Guys let's be honest here, instead of pursuing Christ with every ounce of our being, we just throw him off to the side. To us, he's another bro to be used when it's convenient.
Instead we turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, porn and money to keep ourselves fulfilled.
Now I'm not going to give that Christianese statement of saying "but none of those will fill us like Jesus! *fist pump*"
Because although true, it doesn't really do anything to make it relevant to us.
Seriously, in all honesty, in our own minds, we see money, sex and an emotional high as more intense than spending time with Christ.
I know because I make this mistake every day. My devotion time generally hovers around 10 minutes to an hour, and yet the rest of my day is spent making myself feel good. I do the bare minimum to keep Christ in my life and somehow I am under the delusion that I am a "good Christian man" when in fact, I'm failing miserably.
When we don't spend intimate and deep time with the Lord, naturally we will find other things that keep our attention and we eventually believe the lie that God cannot fulfill us in the way that our addictions can.
So instead of giving you the good happy reason why we should be serious about Christ. I'm going to discuss the consequences of our failure.
See, we've failed our sisters in Christ. We've failed the women in our lives.
By neglecting our God-given duty to live righteously and lead by Godly example, we have forced the women in our lives to not only strive for their own righteousness, but also ours.
Think it over,
How many times do the girls have to keep a relationship pure?
How many times do girls have to make the decisions?
How many times do girls have to be strong for us?
I'd say about 98% of the time honestly.
How are we okay with this guys? As our sisters stagger under the weight of their own hurt, confusion, and growth, suddenly they have to deal with ours as well.
There is no better example of this than in my own life.
See there once was a girl that I liked...a lot...honestly I thought I loved her. She was "the one" and I knew from the moment I got to know her that we would some day be married.
But there was this slight problem.
She didn't dig my chili.
Upon talking to her about it, she very patiently and lovingly told me that she truly and deeply cared about me as a friend but that she wasn't interested in a relationship.
And what was my reaction?
I denied it. I literally couldn't accept it so I lingered on in her life desperately trying to win her attention by bringing her all my problems and drama in the hope that she would show me compassion and by that extent, attention and affection.
The worst problem is it worked for awhile. And so for about a year I lingered on in her life, dumping all my problems on her and forcing her to bear not only her problems and burdens, but mine as well.
She eventually had enough and sent me on my way, I then healed and got over it.
But all this to say: Guys, we may not be doing this exactly, but we are forcing the women in our lives to be both women and men.
Because we refuse to grow up, they have to do the work of two people: theirs and ours
Are we okay with this? Can we truly as men look at how much damage our inaction has caused and still pick up the Xbox controller?
Because guys, my heart is broken for us, my heart is broken for my sisters in Christ who feel like the men in their lives are out to manipulate and hurt them.
We can't keep doing this brothers.
We have to step up to our God-given mandate.
We have to start looking at others with the intent of winning their soul to Christ.
We have to be the ones who initiate integrity in our fellow men.
We have to be the ones who say "no" to the world and it's addictions.
We have to step up in defending our sisters honor by refusing to use them as an addiction.
That's why I say "gentlemen, start your engines". Because we've idled enough at the starting line doing nothing but revving our engines to get attention. We've wasted enough time talking the talk, now it's time to walk it.
The world tells us to sit back and relax, but we've spent enough time relaxing.
The world tells us that to be a man is to be physically strong and emotionless, but our King was a carpenter who wept.
The world tells us that women are objects to be used and tossed aside when we are done with them, but we know deep down that they are our sisters with their own hopes, dreams, hurts, and pasts.
I'll say it again: Look at the girls in our lives, are they stressed? Tired? Frustrated with us as guys? Well...maybe we deserve it. We can't go along anymore gorging ourselves on what makes us feel good, we can't keep serving only ourselves, and we can't keep using our sisters to make definition of our lives when God is calling for us to live His adventure.
Guys...brothers...Start your engines. It's time to race.
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